Oct–2021Self-Study #158
sitting across from him in the hospital yesterday I felt the adrenaline drain from my body like a plant wavering on its stalk. yes, a relief to see he’s okay (is he okay?) but it’s almost like my body can’t take everything in despite my best efforts. my psyche as if swinging between extremes in order to construct some cohesive container of feeling. relief to be here, fear to be so far from LA. a sense I’ll be here maybe only two weeks, a feeling like I’ll be here forever. a sense of my own strength, a confrontation with my weakness. Mamiya C330