Anne Carson: “Discover all that is ‘feminine’
how it ends
The last morning
Thanksgiving morning
mysticism, Saint Teresa
The heat broke last night in a clear instant
The right thing in the right way
smell of laundry and the smell of rain
An entire ocean pounding at the door of my mind
Sutra #5 (vibrate the cosmos. The cosmos shall clear the path)
Los Angeles, Act II
4:30 AM wake up, my long walks, my utter & insane aloneness
Interlude
Lulu (the dinner party)
What’s real? What stays? What do I erase?
California but without the performance of it
300 Gravier St, New Orleans, LA 70130
the truth of my love, my desire for love, the shape I seek love to inhabit
I open the door with my arms full of lilacs
I think of him and I get dizzy
“You are the embodiment of romantic love”
Overnight ticket only
Random rooms and sudden freedom
Lulu (Gracie)
Lulu (Tamara)
Lulu (Jennie)
Lulu (Brittany)
Lulu (Heather)
BLOOD MESSAGES
Lew in his studio
Lost weekend
But also: freedom, strangeness, beauty, abandon, the sublime.
Beginning of the end of the beginning
His childhood home, the city where he grew up
What am I rushing towards, I thought. What am I trying to prove?
Zoe, March 2014
New moon, supermoon, solar eclipse, vernal equinox
Gabriella, March 2014
After-- After-- After-- After all of it, some part of me was still lost at sea.
Birthday portrait: Failures. Stamina? Before dinner with D
Burning sage to clear away my own bad spirits.
Kestrel and Yiannis
52 W 13th St, New York, NY 10011
Matrilineal (Christmas Eve, Santa Fe)
Silence. He asks:
“Desire is easy. And everywhere.”
~~A year from now and in Baltimore again, I write:~~
Kestrel, September. The light as we walked to Tony’s Saloon
August. Puissance.
This house that I despire more and more every day.
“Faux travel novel”
Light leaks, breathing room, poetry, paint stains, dirt stains, poetry
LOVE!
Dream poet for hire
Jake, Serrano Ave, June (III)
Writing this to future you, future me
A cabin. A cake. Hot baths, tissues, curtains.
Birthday portrait: her pioneer home, a terrible flu.
Anne Truitt: “the only rule, to let the artist speak”
“Girlfriend”
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Drew, before Big Sur
False prophecy. The residency week.
Kestrel at The Hotel Alexandria
Suddenly, unexpectedly, alone. Relief?
My mother’s mother, a Scorpio
~~the splits & chasms still to come~~
Jake, Serrano Ave, November (II)
Kate, winter 2012
Jake, December (I)
Evi’s backyard, summer, Los Angeles
Throw the Emptiness Out of Your Arms: Rilke’s Doctrine of Nonpossessive Love
right, we
something about that room in montserrat
Madrid & Montserrat, spells
self portrait with his self portrait after his surgery
At Cafe Gitane. Ten (twelve?) years ago
M in New York, 2011
ACTS OF TRANSFORMATION:
10/31/2010
New city. New lover. New apartment.
Last view of New York
My grandmother’s house
private self/public self
I’d forgotten how good true solitude tastes
“Do you like the way a city touches you?”
The Tower (XVI)
Quincy
pavement, trash, skin.
sunshine & sex & cars & people
body, all sensation
Chekhov, from his notebooks:
Love, he said, love, my love.
a real soft sleepy blue
Kate, winter 2009
~~“Ooh, it feels good to be free...”~~
FunSaver
Desire in reverse
Nonantum. Rose perfume.
himself again
21, New York, October
out late, awake all night
Theater of Love, previsualization
Four
fragments
~~Bitches Brew~~
Queen of Wands
Valentine Rd.
Time